do you trust yourself?

You know I didn’t always like writing. Which thinking about, it’s funny because I’m a Public Relations major (all writing and strategy) and now a blogger (obviously writing).

When I was sick and going though therapy, I was told I should start writing to get my feelings out, but at that point, I hardly knew what those feelings were so it made writing pretty difficult. In NYC, I got a lovely red leather journal to write in since I grew a lot there, but I think 5 pages are filled out of the whole book. Fail.

However, the past 3 semesters changed that. I only took 1 communications class my first semester at American since I still had General Education requirements to complete (due to their requirements and Elon’s requirements not coinciding). It was Writing for Mass Communication and while I had actually taken it at Elon (but didn’t transfer because American’s communications program is pretty intense), I’m so glad I retook it. I did better than I did years ago- A-! My teacher was also fabulous and an adjunct professor so not only was he teaching us to do something he’s done throughout his career, he was doing it then too.

Last spring, I took Public Relations and Communications and Society for my major (and also where I met Alex, one of my best friends here). Our Communications and Society class was more research based since our teacher was primarily a political and health communications researcher, and was tougher than other professors for the same class, but it was very interesting and sparked my interest in health communication. My research paper for the class was actually on how the media DOES NOT play a role in the formation of eating disorders.

Public Relations Writing really sold my major to me this summer. Originally I was just a PR major because I wanted to get into event planning, but this class changed my mind. I took it as an online course for 8 weeks- it was intense! You’d think an online class was easier because it’d be on your own time schedule, but you definitely had to be organized or assignments would whiz by. I worked at least an hour everyday for that class between writing, revising, editing, and posting on the discussion board from readings. But guess what? All that work 1. got me an A, 2. let me figure out my own voice and my style with the PR world and 3. trust myself writing.

In all my steps, both in writing and personally, I feel like TRUST plays a big part in our success. In a relationship, whether romantic or friendly, we must TRUST the other person to be there for us, to love us, and to be faithful. If you’re religious, you have to TRUST that God will make sure everything works out the way it should. Even if you’re not religious (sorry I wasn’t raised in a religious household), you must have faith and TRUST that everything will work out ok. If I hadn’t, I would have given up on getting better long ago!

But more importantly, you must TRUST yourself. It might be in writing. It might be in research. It could even be in choosing a car, couch, a puppy, or a pair of socks. TRUST yourself. There’s a reason we have intuition and a mind to think, it’s to listen to it and act on it. But just don’t act, do it with confidence and force like you will succeed.

If you’re going to make the “wrong” decision or “fail” at a task,

you as well to it in style and will a power that shows you’re fearless.

Even though, I have a constant fear of failing (yup, we’re all human), I still believe that there is no wrong decision in life or failure. My fear stems more from not wanting to disappoint people, but through recovery, I learned that the only way I’d disappoint people is if I disappointed myself- Thanks Dad! Regret is the worst feeling so let’s try to avoid it, shall we?

Then as I was getting better and better, I feared succeeding and being happy. How weird is that? But I’ll explain… when you’re depressed or sick for a long period of time (it was over 2 years before I hit rock bottom), you get used to it. You get used to feeling unhappy, to living in a fog and just ready to give up so the thought of actually being content is hard to fathom. I luckily had a great support group and eventually found that happiness and calm (in Paris actually) again and never want to go back.

Maybe your decision wasn’t right for that time, didn’t work out or gave you an outcome you didn’t want or expect, but that’s ok! Sometimes those moments open other doors more suitable for you as a person or as a professional.

So after all this blabbing, do you trust yourself? if not, what are you afraid of?


One response to “do you trust yourself?

  1. Awesome post! And thanks for the shoutout!

    You should use this for your “why you write” application question, especially the first part. Write on your applications like you do here, it’s fantastic!

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